Hi, I’m Dr. Paige Marrs
During my first several decades I was good at many things, but communication and relationships were definitely not among them. Lots of messes that really were my fault.
My mom, now 89, still reminds me how awful I was at communication, and not just with her.
Fortunately she marvels more frequently at my “metamorPHOsis” (emphasis hers). Her penetrating critiques over the year were well founded, but it’s nice to hear her updated view.
I tell you this for 3 reasons:
First, I hope you find my transformation encouraging. I really was clueless (putting it mildly) about communication and relationships, and now I’m really, really good at it. Some clients tease that I have magical powers, but it’s just hard-won skill and insight. It’s all learnable, and I’m so happy to share the shortcuts.
Second, if you’re struggling in these areas, I hope you know I genuinely feel for you. I know first hand the pain and frustration that comes with less-than-skillful (and in my case, clueless) communication. It really messes with relationships, personal and professional. Ouch.
Finally, I’m hoping you get a sense of why I get so excited, even cheerleader-ish, about transforming counterproductive communication patterns. I am passionate about helping anyone who is ready to replace all those struggles with what you really want. And as you know by now, I’m a relationship/communication expert, author, and teacher (not a therapist). I also lead workshops.
My professional practice is essentially about:
- Helping individuals, couples, and teams resolve stubborn, painful communication and relationship challenges — personal and workplace — and teaching them to do the same for themselves in the future
- Providing structures that help executives navigate confusing career transitions and make big pivotal choices with confidence
- And at it’s core, it’s about doing my small part to bring more wellbeing, love, compassion, and goodness to our world while ameliorating the fear that blocks all that.
My approach integrates cutting-edge communication theory and emerging insights from the neurosciences (especially about the relationship brain and the fear system), with findings from my own research, and decades of personal, professional, and spiritual practice.
Clearly, I gravitate toward an holistic, interdisciplinary view of things!
My doctorate is in Human & Organizational Systems, my Masters is in Human Development. I was mentored by Barnett Pearce, PhD, the founder of CMM, an internationally-respected social constructionist communication theory, and I studied with Daniel Siegel, MD, founder of the new field of interpersonal neurobiology and world-renowned author and speaker. Reading about new findings from the neurosciences is fun for me, just as listening to mystics from various faith traditions is deeply nourishing.
Despite how serious that might sound, I’m told my presence is warm and playful. I certainly feel that way inside. Clients assure me that my coaching, trainings, and workshops/retreats are immediately effective, useful, and deeply transformative.
Speaking of seriousness… what’s up with the green stuffed animal I’m holding at the top of this page?
That’s a cute little lizard!
In workshops and with private coaching clients, I use lizards (toys only!) to illustrate one of the most critical and actionable insights about transforming relationships. The lizard represents the neurobiological fear system, aka: reptilian brain, but I’m not comfortable thinking about a reptile in my head, thus LIZARD BRAIN!
My personal life
The personal and professional aspects of my life are pretty hard to tease apart, as you’ll see. That said…
My heart belongs to my beloved, Donald Marrs. We’re in 30th year and are still giddy that we get to be together. We cherish each other and are grateful every day (corny but true) and relish our peaceful canyon home on the Westside of Los Angeles.
We are each others creative partner, writing partner, and co-coach with certain clients. That means we live and work together — yup, live AND work together — and have for our entire relationship.
That doesn’t mean it’s always been smooth, or that we never argue or trip up or have big stuff to work out. We’re just diligent at practicing what we preach.
We created The Love Conversation™ Approach to help others who want their own version of such vivid fulfillment for themselves.
When not working with clients or on a creative project, or spending time with family or friends, you might find me listening to a fascinating podcast about new stuff from the neurosciences or the integration of science and spirituality, or dancing around the house to get my body moving (I spend a lot of time in my head!). We both love popcorn with a good movie when we can actually find something we want to see.
Oh, and we both write. We barely argued working on our first book together… well, that first project had its glitches. Currently, we’re working on several books in our “spare time,” so you know how fast that’s coming along! But if you’re a FieldNotes subscriber, we’ll let you know as soon as we’ve got some close-to-finish chapters to share.
Perhaps because we live at the bottom of a canyon, our favorite type of vacation is near the ocean — especially the North Shore of Kauai. I’m a blissfully happy camper staring at the ever-changing views over Hanalei Bay with the craggily lush mountains beyond — and the breathtaking cloud-and-sun dramatics in between.
Heavenly, yes?! Enjoy the view (caught by my iPhone last year).