in a relationship, dating, or single
Fortunately, it TAKES JUST ONE of you to move your relationship in a good direction
That statement sounds counterintuitive, right? But it’s true. And it’s our answer to this frequent question:
“What if I’m the only one willing to get help? Is there hope for us?”
YES! Absolutely. Even if it’s just you, you can make huge improvements. We see it all the time!
Here’s something few people know. To make a relationship be the way you want it, you must begin by making your own changes.
This is true even when the two of you are working on it together.
Okay, a confession:
It’s utterly fabulous when both people recognize they’re having challenges and both want some guidance, training, and help.
However, as you know, that’s often not the way it is.
Lots of times, one person is ready when the other is not. But that’s not the problem. The problem is that the person who IS ready often thinks there’s no hope unless their partner changes their mind.
It’s understandable to think that. But again, not true.
We see many individuals making many relationship improvements working alone. Sometimes their spouse or partner joins later, which is wonderful but not always practical and often not necessary.
Within a handful of sessions, solo clients start talking about a 2 types of benefits:
- Feeling better personally — Right away and increasingly over time, solo clients feel like they’re making progress. Overwhelm and hopelessness are replaced by confidence and knowing exactly what to do (and not do) within themselves and with their partner. They feel less frustrated, less angry, less reactive, resentful, and no longer stuck. They feel more peaceful and optimistic, more empowered to make good choices.
- They also find that the other person “miraculously” changes (sometimes in big ways) — Spouses, fiancées, family members, friends start listening better, being less defensive, more open, less cranky and critical. Many even start doing things they’d been stubbornly resisting before.
You really can accomplish a lot on your own, learning whichever aspects of The Love Conversation Approach will help your situation:
- Skillfully approach “touchy topics” so you have a productive, satisfying conversation (instead of another argument)
- Unravel the mystery of why you keep stumbling into the same arguments or stalemates AND what to do differently
- Amplify what’s good and special about your connection so your predominate daily experience of your relationship is love
- Shift the conversation within yourself to give you the clarity and centeredness to (a) say what you really want to say in a way that’s likely to be heard, and then (b) respond well to whatever comes back from the other person
If you’re curious to learn more, contact me for an initial half-hour call, no charge of course.